Tag Archives: time

It’s not about time

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Its not about time, at least I dont believe it is anymore. I did for the longest time. I believed that time was all we had. Part of me still does, and part of me has decided differently.

We don’t have enough. It takes too long. It goes too fast. Theres always more. Where is it when you need it. Time heals. Time changes. Time keeps going. It moves on. On after we have stopped.

So, tell me how that is all we have? Something that never is a part of you….something that feels lack and scarce?  If it is “all we have”….will it ever be enough or more than we need? Will it forever be moving too fast or too slow?

No, Its not about time.

What we have is what we choose, and it is a choice.

We are now. We have now. If we want we to, we must choose to do everything we can from now. And past now, for as long as we can, until we cannot anymore. Thats when we’ve done everything that we were meant to do, and we no longer need to do anymore. Thats what I think.

It doesn’t matter how long that takes or how fast it goes or if there will be time to do enough.

It will always be enough, because its not about time. We weren’t given time.

We were given a chance. Its about how we use it. From that we have everything we could ever believe in, if we choose. There is no right or wrong way. It is never wasted. It is ours. We have that choice, just like we have right now. Time can never decide that for you.

My New Years Resolution REVOLUTION

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January 23, 2012

-by Sheila M.

Staring down at the blank sheet of paper, or the paper staring up at me – I’ve yet to decide; I sat on the edge of my far-from-neatly made bed and listened as rain drops pelleted against the glass windows. Trying to put into words a way to sum up the past twelve months, now come and gone, before resolving myself into the new year. 23 days its been now that I’ve spent trying to do so, and still…..I got nothin’! And instead, I’ve been trying to make sense of what we all know far too well as the “New Years Resolution”. I started by going through what I already know, and so far this is what I have:

I know this is the time of year I’m supposed to come to terms with last year; accomplishments, failures, changes, challenges and even the stack of clothes I’ve been meaning to donate for far too long. (in case you were wondering, yes, the stack has moved on and no longer resides on my bedroom floor) 🙂

I know this is where people are “supposedly supposed to” wash away the old to make way for the new, in hopes of improving different aspects of everyday life. Unfortunately, the reasons why and how this happens, AKA making infinite promises to themselves that more than likely they won’t be able to keep, is where I fell off track with the New years resolution. Because to be honest…..if you actually DID want to join the local gym, you wouldn’t have waited until January 1st to do so. – End of story.

BUT thankfully, seeing as how I’m a little more than 3 weeks past that deadline, (and I’m not in the market for a gym membership), I may have come up with a new approach on how we’re supposed to go about a “new beginning”, and keep from picking apart pieces of last year that didn’t go as planned.

And that is where my Revolution was born.

Going back to my spiral notebook, completely empty and waiting for a list, a recap, an explanation, practically anything – I kept going over and over why I was having such a difficult time with the old year-new year transition. Words are one thing I’ve never had a problem with.( In fact most of the time, I probably have too many to try and keep them in a logical order.) Then again…I’m not sure if logic was ever my strong suit!

I’ve never been one to jump on the “resolution is the solution” bandwagon for precisely one reason- its not a solution and never has been. However, sitting with my pen and paper in hand, that’s exactly where it hit me – I was trying to do just that. And I was left with only one apparent reason to figure it out- It wasn’t working! Why?

Because its not about resolving, its about reviving.

I was nearly in shock when I made this realization, and wasn’t even sure if it made any sense. But by putting the pieces together, it slowly started to fall in place. That maybe what we’ve been trying to resolve is what has been keeping us from moving forward all along. Don’t get me wrong though, I completely support anyone who truthfully wants change, in whatever form that may be. But its more than just doing so because you feel guilty. Its more than just making a decision and “sticking to it”. It’s a lifestyle. A way of life. A way of living. And as far as actively making the decision to resolve things that may seem like they could have been done differently, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you WANT to change them.

My Resolution ReVolution is not about getting rid of or starting over, but bringing in to new light the old to more clearly understand the new. So I guess in a round about way, you could say that I’m revolting against trying to resolve.

Instead of pointing out the imperfections, as if you can create the perfect “plan” by stamping them out altogether; accept them. You can’t change yesterday, but you can improve from it. Move forward, use them as a guide and when you see things you want to change, you’ll be more apped to WANT to change them. Not because you feel guilty or because it sounds like a “good” idea. Because if that’s the case, you may not “resolve” anything. You may actually result in feeling even more guilty or discouraged if you can’t keep up with your new plan.

So where does all this lead?

Well………

23 days of thinking.

a little more than an hour spent explaining.

no more blank pages left in my notebook.

and one blog post you’ve just finished reading.

All I can say is;

that’s more than what I started with. 😉

And if I haven’t lost you by now- I’d really like to hear some other thoughts other than mine!

I’m Back ;-)

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Hi…I’m back. If you’ve been reading, I apologize for the long silenced period these past couple of weeks. I promise, I didn’t get sucked into the computer-  I didn’t fall off the face of the earth (not completely anyway) and I didn’t get lost out in the woods somewhere- although I did go exploring through some….nonetheless, here I am.
I swore to myself I would try to stay as consistent as possible when I started this whole thing. I always felt that if you let something drop, especially within the first few months of beginning, your chances of picking it back up are not great.

Okay, maybe less than not great……….Like snow falling in Florida, knowing that its never going to and wasn’t meant to happen. Because if its easy to put off until maybe one day you find the time or maybe the right time will present itself, then you really need to reconsider if its what you truly want. Or, if its like the chances of snow falling in the middle of summer; it was just never meant to happen.
But I’m not here to talk about snow. Life, maybe. But snow….- that’s way to cold for my liking. I think I got the shivers just mentioning it. And after yesterdays cold snap, I’m nowhere near anxious to see that white stuff again. 

I have to admit though, it is rather mesmerizing to watch………..

From inside the house.

While sitting next to the fire.

Maybe wrapped in a blanket. Or two.

But if I had my rathers, I would choose this.

  Guess some things never change. – One of the things I’ve yet to completely understand.

However, I think I do now understand why these long periods of word-less-ness occasionally happen. Which is what I was writing about in the first place.

 Think I tend to get distracted?

Lately I’ve laid back on writing; at least not done as much as I normally would. -thats the same thing isnt it). And it wasn’t because I didn’t have the time. If you know what you want there will always be time. But instead, I’ve been making time for something else. Many somethings in fact. And I feel like every once (or more than) in a while, we all need to take this well needed time to see these things. For we may look at them every day, but all too often everyday is looking at us.

There are so many changes taking place right now. At any given moment, something is changing around us or with us. We change our minds, our choices, our clothes and essentially everything inbetween. That’s part of how we understand and discover who we are. Not just with something like this, but everything in life. And while we may not always be sure about what we want, we don’t always take the opportunity to figure it out today. There’s pressure, rushing, time limits, deadlines, due dates, and constant stress over worries and everyday things. And for what?

Take holidays for example. It seems that every year after Halloween passes, Christmas is immidiatley thrust into progress. And every year it feels that within no time, it comes and goes with the blink of an eye, only then to be presented with yet another new year. Another chance to do it all again. 

Even though thats only one portion out of the year, I still wonder if its things like these that may be enabling us to say “there’s always tomorrow” or “next year”, instead of making the most out of whats here today. Because for one reason or another, caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life, tomorrow always seem like a better time to make a change.

I wish I understood what exactly prompted this thinking these past couple of weeks. Its been hard for me to keep a concentration in any one direction. In fact my direction seems to be changing daily. With that said, I think I may have also discovered a world of seperate somethings. One that doesn’t include stress or waiting for the right time to see whats here today. And I guess that started by narrowing down what’s imprtant and what never was, in order to reconnect with the world we often forget even exists.

The one that matters. The way life was meant to be.

The way the morning sun shines through the window, the smell after it rains, the first page of a new book, the first bloom of a sunflower……spending time with family and friends. Knowing what makes you happy.

 Seeing the world without boundaries or deadlines and not waiting until tomorrow to see them.

This isn’t a job. This isn’t something I have to work at and thats the part I love about it. These things I’ve seen lately may not even seem like much at all, until you start to see them differently……

you just have to start by actually seeing them.

 

A re-cap of this years gardening “Adventure”

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Being trapped indoors most of last winter, I decided that when spring arrived I wanted to do something outside, something productive and different. So after seeing the many advertisements for gardening stores and the hearing about “Home grown farming” movement that’s been taking off this year, I thought trying my hand green thumb in some red Georgia clay would be the perfect place to start.

 The thought of growing plants….-REAL Plants. Not the cheesy plastic ones that live all year round- really caught my interest. So needless to say, it didn’t take much convincing and I was off……..

 

With seeds in hand……

And to be honest….I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Or getting into.

 I’ve always loved plants, but have never set aside time to actually tend to them….

 

 Lets just say for a long time, the cheesy plastic ones and I have been very good friends. But this year that changed.

I decided to start small. Really small in fact.  But I didn’t care. Because to me, size didn’t  really matter. It was about getting out, getting started and trying something new. So that’s what I did.

 

 

We did. Always best to have help. 😀

 

 It was trial and error. Finding what works, what doesn’t work. Things you can work around.

*Also known as down on your hands and knees weeding for hours on end.

 and things you cant. – Pesky bugs that find joy munching on anything and everything. 

For the most part, I can say it is something I am really glad I did. Watching plants grow, taking care of and being a part of the whole journey: its something you really don’t understand until you experience it for yourself. 

 

 Seeing the first blooms….never gets old.

 

 One small step for the experienced gardener. One Giant step for amature me.

 

 

And of course seeing the miracles that come along with it make all the work worthwhile.

To anyone out there, reading this, and looking for something new, I wouldn’t ignore the opportunity to do what I did. It may seem like a lot of work. At times it was. But even if you start with a few pots of flowers….They dont ask for much and it really is amazaing watch.

Even Buddy enjoyed it. I think.

 

 *pumpkin – for the sole purpose of taking pictures.

I did say I enjoyed this adventure. For the most part. It was still sad to see things come to an end.

 

But the journey outweighs the end……

And for me, adds all the more reason to do it again next year.

Time doesn’t have to “fly”

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Lately I’ve realized time is going by faster than ever. It seems that new years was here only the other day. Now already nearing Halloween, I feel like I may have lost a whole year and I’m still trying to figure out where it went.
Everyday seems to be growing faster and faster- its daylight, its dark. You wake up and its time for bed. Spring ends and before you know it, winter arrives.
I tried to ignore it, hoping that only a busy schedule was to blame. But what I realized is that I might actually be avoiding what was really going on.
 
Adults and family members used to tell me that as you get older, time starts to fly by, and before you know it, you’ll be 40 in the blink of an eye. The thing is, I’m not sure I ever really believed them. I do realize this has probably been going on for some time now. How long however….I’m not quite sure of. (I am still trying to figure out why this happens to us in the first place).
I guess I thought that I might be able to escape it – or maybe I never even thought about it at all- but the reality is, I don’t think anyone is exempt from this change in life. And even though I didn’t believe my parents at the time (- I promise, I do now) it appears that I too have fallen victim to “growing up”.
 
When you were younger, did you ever think that life could go by so fast? That days would blur to weeks, and soon weeks into years? And then one morning you would wake up and realize that they not only came, but went, and were still going before you had time to say “Stop!”? Because I know I sure didn’t……..
 
When I was little, I remember days that seemed to drag on forever. I remember everything I looked forward to felt like it took a century to arrive.
The anxious waiting for what was to come, and some days that felt like they would never end.
-I remember the excitement of waking up not knowing what was going to unfold( and not caring) because it was always a new adventure around every corner, and every minute was a new journey that time could never touch.
 
When we are kids, we stop to take in every little detail. We never miss a blink or the time of day. We live in the moment of now and what happens next. And all we can think about is how it feels to be here and nothing else….and that’s all we have to worry about.

What would happen 5 or 10 years from being care and worry free didn’t matter, all we knew is that eventually it would come and bring with it a new adventure.
 
10 years later, I now realize just how perfectly children take on the world……How differently they see it, and I may even be a tad bit jealous for that. More than anything though, I find myself searching for answers to why growing up involves such a drastic change in the way each day manifests. The frightening thought of what we could be missing, before we realize we are missing anything at all. And to think that if we don’t catch it and take hold of every second , time may pass us by altogether.
Even though it seems overwhelming, its impossible to control everything that goes on in our life. And that part of where we tend to get caught up in it!
Unlike children we get caught in a place where now doesn’t exist, then already was, and what will be is already spoken for.

We worry and stress about what hasn’t even happened, yet we still wonder why our days are blurring together right before our eyes.
We try to focus on so many things at a given time, that none of them are ever left making any sense. And the only logical explanation I could come up with, (yes, I can think logically on occasion) is that time appears to move faster because its trying to fill in the missing pieces.
And maybe, I thought, it doesn’t have to be that way. If time moves faster when things are needing to be done, then maybe not-needing works in just the opposite . Perhaps we just never tried slowing things down. Letting time move naturally, as it should, while finding a peace within our own everyday lives.
 
Now more than ever, as I’m experiencing this whole “growing up” thing, I’m starting to realize that if I can avoid it, I don’t want to wake up one morning to see how much I’ve really missed. I want to be able to wake up and write about all the moments I’ve been able to capture.

I know what’s time is still ahead, and I don’t want to miss that. But what is 5 or 10 years away from now, I can’t worry about today.

And instead of running from it, I’m trying to slow down. I’m learning that growing up doesn’t have to mean missing anything. It doesn’t have to be scary, and it definitely doesn’t mean giving up the things you love.

I still draw with crayons,

ask a lot of questions,

eat cereal straight from the box

and dance on my bed every chance I get.

And I will never stop doing any one of those things. They keep life running at a slower pace; just as it should be.

And instead of watching life fly by in a blur, I’m starting to see the things that make it stop altogether.

In the midst of something that seems so simple or real, I’m catching myself saying “Capture this, embrace this moment, and remember this feeling.” Because I don’t want to miss a thing or single chance, and I know that bringing myself out of reality is the only way to make it slow down.

Life is what you make it.

Growing up is only a small part.

And time doesn’t have to fly in the process.

Children see the world for what it is, and they dont worry about anything but that.

Before I know it, time will eventually catch up with me, no matter how young or old I think I might be. But that day doesn’t have to come any time soon.

 Because by seizing the clock, rolling it back , and living in, not with the moment, we can choose our life to be the way we want and make the most out of every day and days yet to come.

If your out there, and reading this, I’d love to hear what your thoughts are.

What do you think about growing up?

What makes time stand still for you?