Tag Archives: thoughts

It’s not about time

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Its not about time, at least I dont believe it is anymore. I did for the longest time. I believed that time was all we had. Part of me still does, and part of me has decided differently.

We don’t have enough. It takes too long. It goes too fast. Theres always more. Where is it when you need it. Time heals. Time changes. Time keeps going. It moves on. On after we have stopped.

So, tell me how that is all we have? Something that never is a part of you….something that feels lack and scarce?  If it is “all we have”….will it ever be enough or more than we need? Will it forever be moving too fast or too slow?

No, Its not about time.

What we have is what we choose, and it is a choice.

We are now. We have now. If we want we to, we must choose to do everything we can from now. And past now, for as long as we can, until we cannot anymore. Thats when we’ve done everything that we were meant to do, and we no longer need to do anymore. Thats what I think.

It doesn’t matter how long that takes or how fast it goes or if there will be time to do enough.

It will always be enough, because its not about time. We weren’t given time.

We were given a chance. Its about how we use it. From that we have everything we could ever believe in, if we choose. There is no right or wrong way. It is never wasted. It is ours. We have that choice, just like we have right now. Time can never decide that for you.

Genuine Blogger Award 2012!

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This morning, I was pleasantly surprised with this: 😀

Okay so maybe pleasantly is a tad bit of an understatement…..Theres a possible chance that it was accompanied by a brief moment of jumping up and down and/or a still lingering smile…..

Did I mention that I get excited easily?

A fellow blogger @ My rays of Light was kind enough to pass along the “Genuine Blogger Award” to me this morning. Her blog is a true inspiration and I feel so honored to be chosen to recieve this. Just in the short time I’ve been posting, I’ve read so many blogs and met amazing writers that are so much more talented than I am. So to keep the award moving along, I’d like to pass this to a few people who’ve been kind enough to support me with my blog and whos words are written with deepest insight and beyond.

http://poemsandponderings.wordpress.com/

http://bzarrella.com/

http://jonellamarie.wordpress.com/

You guys deserve it! And thank you again to http://myraysoflight.wordpress.com/ for the nomination!

 

Learning & Love

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Life can be measured by all the moments that made you laugh. Take time to fall in love with each and every one of them. ~sms

They say love is a tricky word, a touchy subject-

I’ve heard it’s complicated, overrated, frustrating, irritating and at times even disappointing. I’ve seen couples that have been together their entire life and individuals who are still looking for the right one to come along. There’s people who have it, but don’t want it. And there are people who want it because they feel like they’ve never had it. I’ve learned that love is unique, in whatever form it may come in. Some people may spend their entire lives looking for true love, trying to perfect it; but meanwhile. they miss out on all the things there are to love in life and appreciate all the reasons it was meant to be different. I’ve learned that just because it’s different doesn’t mean that it’s not one in the same. And just because it can be the same- it doesn’t mean that it will never change. I’ve learned that there’s no such thing as being in it or without it because it’s always there if you choose to open your eyes and see it. Some people believe that falling in love means finding someone who is looking for the same thing as you. And for the sake of everyone reading this, I hope that has or will one day happen, if that is something (or the only thing) you may truly want. I know that I still have a lot to learn, and so far I haven’t gone in search of that someone, but I’ve been able to fall in love over and over again by choosing to see that its not important how or with what– it only matters that you do. It can be whatever you want- walking on the beach in the middle of winter, staying up too late watching re-runs that have played a million times or laying on the ground looking up at the clouds, simply doing nothing at all. Its about understanding that it is there. Maybe its not in the way you’d expect or thought to look. Or maybe it is. But if you haven’t found what you are looking for, theres nothing saying that it isn’t possible.

Whether you’ve already found your Romeo or Juliet- if it is that someone you are still looking for – or if you enjoy watching re-runs on the couch with a dog that happens to be named Buddy…. remember that like everything else in life- love has the freedom to change and grow, as long as you are willing to let it. All you have to do is learn to live and enjoy every moment along the way.

A letter to me

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Upon a day spent browsing the internet, I stumbled into something that I honestly never thought I would see. Futureme.org . A chance to send a letter to yourself…..in the future. Call me crazy or whatever you want; i wasn’t going to pass this up. Today I decided to write email a poem/letter to myself that will arrive in February of 2030. So much can change between now and then, but the only question I had was, why not? It could be interesting, and below you’ll find my letter to me.

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I never thought id ever write a letter to me
Something that will take 18 years to again see
The only real difference there is so to speak
Is you’re almost 33 now but 15 here with me

I still find it hard to try and believe
That this is just another capsule in time
Flying right before our eyes
A one way trip on a single fine line

And as I’m sitting here writing this letter to you
I’m sure by now you’ve come to find
That all the things I wished you knew
Have become so distant and far behind

Everything that seems so exciting and new
Also looks scary in every which way
It makes me wonder how long this newness will last
Or how long I’ll be brave enough to allow it to stay-

I know that what seems frightening now
Will evolve into bigger and better things
I just hope that you never forget to look
And open your eyes for what tomorrow brings

Right now there are so many places you want to go
So many things you hope to do
So many things you don’t want quite yet-
And I hope growing up never grabs hold of you

Because the world at a glance can seem so vast
Though if you watch closely it grows smaller by the day
Even I have become part of your past-
But hopefully not part that has slipped away

I think that’s everyones story, in one form or the next
Trying to outrun what can seem so complex
Hoping to find their own futures path
Taking the first step forward and never looking back.

At 15 there’s no telling where you’ll be reading this
But there’s nowhere as important as now where you are
There’s things right now I can’t help but miss
But with all of your dreams, I know you’ll go far.

There’s still so much to figure out
And so many reasons to try and find doubt
But with shortened days and hastened nights
You have to trust that the future holds bright-

I hope this finds you in a time of need
I know things have changed but i’ll just have to wait and see-

So I’ve decide to write this reminder for you
In case you forget, though I hope you never do:

Because when you look up at the stars,
Hoping to see
A miracle pass by –
Another galaxy-
Make a wish of who and where you want to be
All the things you’d love to see
Everything in your wildest dreams

And when you do, all I hope is that you think of me.

~ from you when you were only 15

Sheila Marie

My New Years Resolution REVOLUTION

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January 23, 2012

-by Sheila M.

Staring down at the blank sheet of paper, or the paper staring up at me – I’ve yet to decide; I sat on the edge of my far-from-neatly made bed and listened as rain drops pelleted against the glass windows. Trying to put into words a way to sum up the past twelve months, now come and gone, before resolving myself into the new year. 23 days its been now that I’ve spent trying to do so, and still…..I got nothin’! And instead, I’ve been trying to make sense of what we all know far too well as the “New Years Resolution”. I started by going through what I already know, and so far this is what I have:

I know this is the time of year I’m supposed to come to terms with last year; accomplishments, failures, changes, challenges and even the stack of clothes I’ve been meaning to donate for far too long. (in case you were wondering, yes, the stack has moved on and no longer resides on my bedroom floor) 🙂

I know this is where people are “supposedly supposed to” wash away the old to make way for the new, in hopes of improving different aspects of everyday life. Unfortunately, the reasons why and how this happens, AKA making infinite promises to themselves that more than likely they won’t be able to keep, is where I fell off track with the New years resolution. Because to be honest…..if you actually DID want to join the local gym, you wouldn’t have waited until January 1st to do so. – End of story.

BUT thankfully, seeing as how I’m a little more than 3 weeks past that deadline, (and I’m not in the market for a gym membership), I may have come up with a new approach on how we’re supposed to go about a “new beginning”, and keep from picking apart pieces of last year that didn’t go as planned.

And that is where my Revolution was born.

Going back to my spiral notebook, completely empty and waiting for a list, a recap, an explanation, practically anything – I kept going over and over why I was having such a difficult time with the old year-new year transition. Words are one thing I’ve never had a problem with.( In fact most of the time, I probably have too many to try and keep them in a logical order.) Then again…I’m not sure if logic was ever my strong suit!

I’ve never been one to jump on the “resolution is the solution” bandwagon for precisely one reason- its not a solution and never has been. However, sitting with my pen and paper in hand, that’s exactly where it hit me – I was trying to do just that. And I was left with only one apparent reason to figure it out- It wasn’t working! Why?

Because its not about resolving, its about reviving.

I was nearly in shock when I made this realization, and wasn’t even sure if it made any sense. But by putting the pieces together, it slowly started to fall in place. That maybe what we’ve been trying to resolve is what has been keeping us from moving forward all along. Don’t get me wrong though, I completely support anyone who truthfully wants change, in whatever form that may be. But its more than just doing so because you feel guilty. Its more than just making a decision and “sticking to it”. It’s a lifestyle. A way of life. A way of living. And as far as actively making the decision to resolve things that may seem like they could have been done differently, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you WANT to change them.

My Resolution ReVolution is not about getting rid of or starting over, but bringing in to new light the old to more clearly understand the new. So I guess in a round about way, you could say that I’m revolting against trying to resolve.

Instead of pointing out the imperfections, as if you can create the perfect “plan” by stamping them out altogether; accept them. You can’t change yesterday, but you can improve from it. Move forward, use them as a guide and when you see things you want to change, you’ll be more apped to WANT to change them. Not because you feel guilty or because it sounds like a “good” idea. Because if that’s the case, you may not “resolve” anything. You may actually result in feeling even more guilty or discouraged if you can’t keep up with your new plan.

So where does all this lead?

Well………

23 days of thinking.

a little more than an hour spent explaining.

no more blank pages left in my notebook.

and one blog post you’ve just finished reading.

All I can say is;

that’s more than what I started with. 😉

And if I haven’t lost you by now- I’d really like to hear some other thoughts other than mine!

On the Edge of the Storm

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Dark voluminous clouds build in every which direction.

Wind swirls through my long and loosly braided curls.

A flag of warning flies over head to proceede with caution and the roar of waves crashing on the well beaten shore can be heard from miles around.

These are the signs of a stormy day like today, along with so many others I’ve seen before. But not just anywhere…..everywhere is different, but here, here is nearly always the same.

Standing at the edge of the beach, where the commonly traveled walkway ends and the tumultous wake of the Atlantic begins, I watch as the storm passes overhead- waiting to break loose at any moment. It seems as though we are the only ones who’ve ignored the warning. To anyone else, it would seem a disaster in the making. A few tourist scramble back to their cars at the sight of the misshappen shoreline – (more than likely dissappointed that their newly purchased beach chairs and umbrella won’t have a chance to be put to first use), leaving my father and I standing as the only two people left in sight.

The weathered sign reads, “No guard on duty”, but the words don’t bother to try and phase me. And I suppose if you’ve made it thus far in the first place, on duty or not, you wouldn’t be concerned of a life guard anyhow.

My father makes the first venture outward towards the abandoned tower as the sky begins to crumble overhead. Just as a child exploring a fort, he takes on the role of the missing guard; and though I didn’t mention it, and should anyone have been watching at the time, I’m sure he could have been mistaken as such. 😉

 By the time he returns back to where I stand, a first drop of rain splatters against my arm. And not long after, a gust of wind pushes its way past, as if I were standing directly in its way.

By the slight chill stirring in the air, I can tell we haven’t much longer to play by the growing sea, but I know its long enough for my chance to explore.

  I time the seconds between the waves. They’ve risen enough to submurge the legs at the base of the stairs. After three rounds of counting, I anxiously dash outward to climb up the steps, racing to beat the next incoming flood of water. I grab the railing, freshly slicken with salt water spray and can immidiatly see why he felt the need for the amateur-like notion.

Leaning over the side of the rail, I can’t help but gaze out into the incoming storm. My mind wanders at all the possible rescues that could have taken place over the many years on days such as this, and the stories from which fishermen have told of being out and conquering it as if just another day.

My fascination of these topics is probably one that no one can compete with and I’m fortunate to have just enough time to get a taste of it.

In just a short minute, the wind has picked up even more, sending sand sailing across my new found fortress. And though I’d much rather stay and pretend, I stumble back down the stairs- forgetting about the ferocious incoming waves but still managing to escape them just in time.

I reach the walk way where the fence poles begin, each one strung together by yards of rope. Glancing back into the stormy sea, I look for any sign of its passing. The sky was now darker and the clouds whirled by in a rugged fashion, so I bid a goodbye and turned around to leave it to its being.

Not giving so much as a second thought, and my father already several paces ahead, I rush to make my way back to the boardwalk, only to be stopped by something I thought was left astray:

A simple miracle to brighten the day – A ray of golden sunshine danced across my way.

Looking up to make sure what I was seeing was in fact for real, and in fact it was. Peeking through the clouds it came out from under, it managed to stay just long enough for me to see, but was gone before I could blurt the word, “Look!”

I kept walking, saying nothing, amazed and somewhat confused about what I saw. I turned back once more, smiling, as it started to rain.

Somewhere could be anywhere but here we had never a reason to fear.

And not anywhere but here, we weren’t afraid to face the edge of a storm.

These things will change…..

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Please, just take the time…and listen ❤

Change – Taylor Swift

 

You never know what change may bring. You never know when a revolution is going to start, or where the light in the tunnel is going to end. But if you wake up to another morning, wondering what the day will hold, wondering what is going to happen next, then you know change is already on its way. Its right around the next corner, just believe its been there waiting for you all along.

Because, it has.