I believed for a long time,- up until about a year ago in fact, (yeah, told ya it was a long time) that there would be things I wanted to do or things I would want to achieve that I wouldn’t be able to, and I was OK with that. I had it in my mind and was ok with the fact that maybe only certain people could be famous, or only certain people could live however, wherever, and whenever they wanted. I said to myself, that’s who they were, and this is who I was, and I would never be able to change that.
But I was still disappointed and discouraged to feel that if I didn’t know exactly how I was going to go about a situation, that I would have to forget about it and find something I DID know about. I’m sorry, but the thought of sitting in an office from 8am to 5pm everyday, stuck in an everyday routine, living an everyday type of life, never did, and still does not appeal to me. In anyway. whatsoever. Period.
Because that’s not who I am. That’s not who my parents are. And that’s not who they’ve taught me to be. But I think we all come to a point at one time or another where we are just not sure where the next move is going to come from. And that’s where I was.
I always knew I wanted to write. I always knew that was a big part of who I was. On the other hand however, I had no idea how I was going to make it happen. I couldn’t conceive the thought of what I would write about or how I would be able to get my work out there to the world. Even if I did, there are so many books, journals, newspapers and blogs, who would want to read me?
And that’s where things started to change. But not completely.
I kept trying to put a label on the, “what I want to be when I grow up” thing. (Although respectively I do still have time to try and figure this out) I didn’t want to wait. Because really, what was I waiting for? Life is too short to be spent waiting. If I were to wait, and procrastinate, I’d be right back at this position in five years or so, asking myself the same questions. I would have achieved nothing, and succeeded in buying myself another 5 years to NOT think about it. I knew what I wanted, but was still trying to put something different in its place.
What was right in front of me, I kept pushing away. – denying myself the slightest chance to believe that it was even an option.
So instead of running, I tried to make a list of the things I did know about. But guess what? Everything I came up with had no definite answer.
And that’s where it hit me. Sort of.
Anything I want to do will always require some kind of learning curve.
I’ve always found it harder to learn about things that your not completely interested in, because your not interested!
I knew I had to start somewhere. Why not start doing something I actually want to? …….Hello, why didn’t I think of that in the first place? I guess that’s part of our learning curve though and our journey is to embrace it.
And that’s where I am now. And I guess you could say this is part of My journey. Even though at this moment my posting will most likely be lost amongst millions of others, I will continue to write it. Why? Because that’s how real it is, and that’s what makes me happy.
That’s not to say that this is the only thing I will ever do. There are still millions of things I want to do and learn about but this where I know how to start. I know I will always have the freedom to change, but learning along the way will help me be able to make that decision.
I know what’s possible, and I know that it only takes one person to read this and say, “Yes! I know what you mean. I’ve been there, I can relate to that- I understand that.” And that’s how we evolve by learning from each other, because one way or another, we all have some kind of story to tell.
Were all here to make the very most of our possibilities. I believe that part of making a change is understanding when to let something stay the same.
Change doesn’t always have to be different.
Sometimes its just that little voice in the back of your head letting you know that anything is possible.